


Just Once More: I

by thesnowyswan



Series: PWP & Feelings: a concept [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Blow Jobs, Facials, Hand Jobs, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 17:43:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12304302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesnowyswan/pseuds/thesnowyswan
Summary: “I hope my husband makes you very happy.”A statement. A fuck you.Set in the current storyline, post-Aarex date but pre-Lawbert brain bending shenanigans. PWP/Sex with the Ex but with emotional turmoil because apparently I'm into that.





	Just Once More: I

**Author's Note:**

> An unbeta'd hootenanny for your Sunday pleasure. No actually it's just sex. Lots of sex.
> 
> Tagged with implied/references to abuse and self harm because they are not explicit or anything more than vague really, but knowing Aaron's story and background it isn't hard to put two and two together. Better safe than sorry, I say.

_“I hope my husband makes you very happy.”_

A statement. A fuck you.

He knew he shouldn’t risk it, not with the way Aaron was glaring at him the whole time. As if he could erase Robert with his eyes.

 _Fuck him and fuck you_.

Pain has always been a great motivator for Robert, so when he comes back to the pub later because he’s still starving, he doesn’t even ask Vic to give him the all clear. The lasagne she saved for him tastes like ash but she made it so he’ll eat it.

He’s also ready for the rare up that is about to happen when Aaron comes through the pub door, thankfully, alone.

“What do you think you’re playing at?” Aaron calls him out as he’s dragging him towards the back. The toilets to be specific.

Is it sad that Robert has fond memories of their arguments in these toilets?

“I think it’s unprofessional for a doctor to make advances on a patient’s family member while the patient is still in hospital.” Robert counters easily, “Don’t you? Or does that not rank on the list of Things That Are Bad because I’m not the one doing it?”

Aaron has always been someone quick to anger, especially if you know what buttons to press, and Robert smashes into them without ever really meaning to. He lets himself be shoved when Aaron drives him back against the wall. It feels all too familiar, the face he loves so much contorted in picturesque rage at his entire being.

“You want to say that to me again, right.”

Aaron’s fists are bunching in his shirt and his knuckles are white, Robert notes.

“You deserve,” Robert struggles, he knows, he knows what Aaron deserves. What he’ll never be. “Better. Someone who isn’t playing the system.”

Aaron pours spite and more anger into the fuck you he volleys back and Robert wants to flinch, until Aaron shoves his mouth over Robert’s and takes a kiss from him. It’s not unlike their first kiss when Robert knew he wanted, he just couldn’t have what he wanted. His reaction is instantaneous, he drags Aaron’s hips against him and presses back with lips, teeth and tongue as he takes his fill of what he’s been denied. Robert’s grip stops Aaron from faltering back and makes him accept everything Robert has to give. He shouldn’t have given Robert any rope if he didn’t want to be hung with it. Then it’s like a dam after heavy rainfall; he wants and gives and takes because he _needs_ Aaron like he needs breathing.

And Aaron doesn’t deny him. In fact, he pulls at Robert’s lapels and pushes him towards the toilet itself. Robert’s dick goes from interested semi to throbbing almost immediately. He knows. He knows in his heart this isn’t going to mean anything, Aaron isn’t going to change his mind but he can’t stop himself. Can’t let the scab heal if he can get his fingers on it and pick it until bleeds.

Robert crowds Aaron once they’re inside. Doesn’t let him get much further than his back pressed against the bathroom stall door. He sees it. The returned desire, the want mirrored in eyes he knows so well, and it fires him up. He can still have this, Aaron, even if it’s just for a moment. Aaron expects a kiss, he can tell, but Robert noses his cheek aside and sucks on his neck, his whole body blanketing him. Let him have everything and nothing at the same time.

He lets his hands roughly strip Aaron’s belt open, pop the button on his jeans before he’s on his knees. Aaron always catches his breath when Robert does this. Gets off on seeing Robert cave, but he doesn’t care. He’d kneel on broken glass for even a second of this.

He knows what Aaron’s expecting, god, does he know. He knows every twitch, every frown, every quirk that that face can conjure. He’s thinking about his dick being sucked and Robert wants to give him that, give him everything he wants but it’s not enough. Robert’s mouth is watering for a taste of what he’s lost, all of it, so he bunches his fingers in Aaron’s jeans and turns him to face away. There isn’t a moment’s hesitation on Aaron’s part and that encourages Robert’s choice.

Slowly, he pulls the denim down further, exposing the paler skin of Aaron’s arse.

“Robert,” Aaron breathes warily but doesn’t try to stop him.

Robert hadn’t understood Aaron’s hesitations back then, just that slowly but surely, Aaron’s comfort increased and there had been times when he had all but begged for attention on his bum.

Something twists inside Robert because he knows despite everything, only they have done this together. Aaron only trusts him with this part of himself. The jealous part of him craves that, to be the only one, but with his jeans now trapped under the thickest part of his peachy behind, Robert can feel sad for the other men who will never experience this.

 _Except now they will_.

Instinctively, he bites. He wants to mark Aaron with words and different scars so no one takes what he wants to always be his.

It’s just how he remembers: warm, firm but pliant. Aaron sways away from Robert’s teeth and back when he doesn’t bite again. He’s so close he can see the unexpected downy blond hair against the reddening scratch of his teeth. His hands drag a little on Aaron’s thighs as he’s trying to pull his jeans further down but Aaron’s legs are too wide apart and he’s pretty sure they’re thicker than before. He doesn’t hold in his groan at the thought of them. How he likes to dig his fingers in to push and pull Aaron every which way. To cling to them when Aaron gives him everything.

Aaron’s forehead thunks against the door.

Robert doesn’t let Aaron bend. It’s a tighter job and he has to hold Aaron open with his hands but it’s a hotlink from Aaron’s arse to his dick like this. The blatant stripe that he starts with, tongue flat against twitching skin, drives a long moan out of a relaxing throat. Aaron’s hands come around to lightly encircle Robert’s wrists. They aren’t trying to control him, just resting loosely where Robert has parted him. It’s stupid but it spurs Robert on. This simple act of trust. He curls his tongue and flicks over Aaron’s rim, every now and then pushing against him, in him, to check his level of resistance. He’s loosening and Robert wants to bury himself inside with his tongue, fingers, cock, anything to appreciate this man’s body.

Slowly, the muscle starts to give and he’s able to get inside, thrusting the tip of his tongue like he’s fucking Aaron, only to stop and let it curl back and tease. Robert casts his eye down and he can see the leaky drip of Aaron’s dick. It wasn’t consistent before, but with every press of his tongue, Aaron’s cock is giving up pre-come more steadily. He considers it for a moment. Of just burying his face in Aaron’s arse and getting him off just like this if he can but he knows what he wants.

While Robert has never been particularly keen about come on his face, he knows he wants this. Let him walk out of here with come on his shirt and everyone know exactly what he did. What they shared. He just wants to feel like he belongs to Aaron again.

Gently turning him, Robert ends up eye level with Aaron’s reddened cock and when his tongue flicks the underside, Aaron cries out because he’s close. His breath is low and laboured, peppered with drawn out sighs, as every stroke against his skin pulls a bit more out of him. Robert keeps his eyes closed as he engulfs the head, he keeps his mouth loose, letting only his bottom teeth occasionally drag and catch, and eventually it rewards him with a rush of Aaron’s fresh salty taste. He lets him slip from his mouth and his hand continues to drag up and down, faster each time until he feels wetness against his lip, cheek and eyebrow with a high pitched whimper.

Miraculously, Robert is come free on his clothes. He licks at the drops on his mouth and Aaron’s eyes watch him as he does it. A shaky hand rubs at his cheek and slides under his jaw before drawing him up by his chin. His body is pulsing, distantly, slowly coming back into his consciousness as Aaron unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his trousers. Those damning blue eyes haven’t left him, are stripping him bare with their silent accusations. The first touch inside his damp underwear, trapping Aaron’s rough hand against him, is everything. He can’t help the whine that slips from his mouth. Aaron pulls him out and the air is practically a second caress that makes him drop his hips back and Aaron stops him with a soft, ‘don’t’, as if he thought Robert was trying to escape.

He isn’t leaning against anything so Robert reaches out, cups his hand around the back of Aaron’s neck to balance himself as Aaron naturally shuffles forwards a little at the pressure, his thumb pressing tight on the upstroke. They’re close enough that their foreheads touch and Robert shakes a little with it. His body is slowly coiling tighter and his lips are parted wetly with his breaths. He catches his open mouth on Aaron’s lips. The barest of touches, an enticement, and he does it again, Aaron finally opening and breathing the same moist air.

Fingers brush against his stomach as Aaron pushes his shirt up and out of the way. He’s looking down now at Robert’s quivering belly, the blond hair at the base and the shape of him now pushing through the fist Aaron is making for him. It’s dry so it drags almost painfully until Aaron spits onto his own hand and Robert jolts at the sight. It was what he needed, all he needs, as Aaron curls his hand tight around his cock and tugs him hard. Robert lets his head fall forward onto Aaron’s shoulder to try and muffle the heavy cries that are coming out of him now, his hips rocking back and forth, trying to increase the already exponential pleasure. He bites into the juncture of Aaron’s neck and shoulder and gets a hissed warning for it but he can’t help it. His body is winding further and further up, his balls are aching to come and his voice won’t be silenced. Not when it’s this good. He can’t stop. He won’t stop. He’s almost there, his body ready to tip but he can’t quite shove himself over. At least he can’t until Aaron nudges his nose against Robert’s neck before pressing a wet kiss, with a flick of his tongue, on the fragile skin of Robert’s pulse. Then it all crashes down on him like a waterfall, wave after wave of intense pleasure that seems to vibrate inside of him. Aaron eases him through it, his hand slow but twisting lightly until Robert bucks against him, sensitivity tingling under his skin.

Robert feels almost drugged with it, he doesn’t even react when Aaron wipes him with loo roll before throwing it into the toilet behind him. He manages a grunt when he’s tucked back inside his underwear that feel tacky now that he’s done.

There’s also an emptiness that settles over him he hasn’t felt in years. Aaron isn’t his to keep, not anymore, and he can see it in the way that Aaron’s shyly trying to fix his clothes without Robert’s stare on him.

 _He’s ashamed_.

It kicks Robert into action, he finishes sorting himself out, belt in place and shirt tucked in, but he feels sick in the pit of his stomach. The man he loves can’t even look at him after they’ve been together because he thinks it’s wrong. That Robert is wrong.

They make it back out into the main part of the bathroom before Robert says, “I wasn’t lying, when I said I hoped that you made him happy.”

He chokes on the words, eyes closed as he exhales, “he’s getting so much more out of it than you.”

He doesn’t see Aaron flinch like he’s been hit, the twitch of his jaw as he sets himself against Robert’s words.

“He’s a good bloke,” Aaron folds his arms and looks contrary as Robert eyes him up.

Robert shrugs, “Don’t sell yourself short.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply before he leaves, for Aaron to tell him how wonderful the good doctor is and how wonderfully happy they’ll be in the future with their 10 kids who all study at Oxford and how Robert will be left alone with all his horrible mistakes.

He’d needn’t have bothered, he realises. Aaron didn’t try to stop him.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: 2016 reunion sex? Also me: have you considered Sex with the Ex? Me: Well, I have now. Honestly, this one hurt me because they're so stupid. Not talking and communicating like morons and I s2g Robert Sugden, you know nothing and if you were in GOT you'd die.
> 
> Don't forget you can always share your emotional breakdowns with me in the comments or at thesnowyswan.tumblr.com. I'm here for you.
> 
> ETA: this story now continues in Part 2 [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12315681/chapters/28316889)


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